Mary-Lou Wilcox

Mary-Lou (McPhee) Wilcox, 85, passed away on Wednesday, October 29, 2025. Born in Massachusetts, she was the daughter of the late Russel G. and Mary (Penniman) McPhee. She was the loving wife of the late John P. Wilcox who passed in 2012.

Mary-Lou was raised in Orleans, Massachusetts, the elder sister of John R. McPhee, who was lost at sea at the age of 23, in 1967. Throughout her life Mary-Lou pursued excellence and achieved it. As a young woman, she stood out in academics, athletics, as a Mariner Scout and as a pianist. She graduated from Orleans High School in 1958 and received a Bachelor of Science in Physical Education and Health from Boston University Sargent College in 1963. An extended stay in the tropical climate of St. Thomas, USVI, after graduation inspired the adventurer in Mary-Lou to seek a position at Punahou School, Honolulu, HI. She was a popular instructor of Phys Ed and mentor to students there for six years. Upon her return stateside, she lived near Albany, NY where she met the love of her life, John. They married on John’s farm in Fawn Grove and together established a Holstein dairy, farming a plot of 160 acres.

Mary-Lou was as at-home in the milking parlor at 5 am as she was reminiscing around the dinner table with a house full of company. Her love of cats and large-breed farm dogs was outweighed only by the affection she had for her beautiful small herd of Scotch Highland cattle. Mary-Lou put her heart and soul into the farm, prizing her blue-jeans with a worn-out right leg at the end of every season putting up hay. Although she never had children of her own, Mary-Lou had a natural connection with kids, and took countless youngsters under her wing, tutoring, employing, and in general believing in them. She kept the heart of an educator throughout her life, from working patiently to teach an illiterate neighbor to read at her kitchen table to taking time to kneel in the dirt to explain some finer point of a farm task to a child who was visiting. The lasting impact of her loving influence is felt deeply by those who experienced it.

Mary-Lou spent a number of years working with the Brown family at Brown Croft Farm. She was a fixture for many years at the Fawn Grove Olde Tyme Days Festival, volunteering her time to coordinate craft vendors and building long-time relationships in the process. After retiring and leasing the farm, Mary-Lou enjoyed working for the local auction house, often coming home with eclectic items that had caught her eye. She also volunteered extensively at Pleasant Acres Nursing Home in York, PA when John was a resident there, continuing after his death for a number of years and remaining in contact with the nurses and staff that had cared for him. Mary-Lou embraced the Amish community that surrounded the farm with a sense of awe and equality. She had a keen intellect, a quietly powerful presence and a seemingly boundless capacity to give of herself to others in small and large ways. She was a voracious reader, a lover of St. Bernards, pet Scotch Highland cows, and cats (particularly those lacking a tail or with an extra toe). Her passing leaves a hole in her community of friends and neighbors at Senior Commons in York, where she resided for the last ten years. She is survived by many relatives and dear friends who will miss her immeasurably.

Family and friends are invited to a Celebration of Life on November 29, 2025, at 2:00 p.m. at Hartenstein Funeral & Cremation Care, Inc., 19 S. Main St., Stewartstown, PA 17363. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation in Mary-Lou’s memory to the Massachusetts Maritime Academy, 101 Academy Drive, Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts 02532 for the Admiral Thomas E. Burke Scholarship Fund.